Paleo and Faileo

O.K. Friends... It's true, I've been avoiding you. I have actually written for the blog twice in the past two weeks and was unable to hit the publish post button due to the fact that both musings were whiny drivel and excuses for my lack of self control... There, I said it. I have no self control. I am not PALEO, I am FAILEO :(

The excuses started off with a particularly harried road trip for work. I was on my way to coach a CrossFit Gymnastics Certification in lovely Bedford, Massachusetts when I allowed myself a drink... or two... as a coping mechanism for a cancelled flight, drive to different airport, catch flight to New York, loss of drivers license, unable to rent a car, catch a train instead, grab a cab and arrive just in the nick of time to teach one of the greatest groups in CFG history ;) Gold Medal CrossFit... you rock!

I mean even now I can see how someone might lose their willpower under such circumstances, but the truth is I have endured far worse experiences in my life, I probably could have coped in another way. ALSO, I could have said here's one little cheat and now you have coped and can get back on track. BUT NOOOOO, that is not how I roll.

Here's how I roll: (internal voice) "Um, well, I have already failed, might as well fail BIG!!! How bout a few MORE Southern Comfort Manhattans?!?! Hmmm??? It will go well with my PALEO Steak followed by my FAILEO YUMMY CHOCOLATE SOMETHING OR OTHER DESERT!!!" Which by the way was shared with friends and was a complete joy, an incredibly indulgent and delightful experience!

My shenanigans did not stop there.
I chose more less-than-paleo options on the way home which was slightly less of an adventure, but still included planes,trains, automobiles and a fellow CrossFitters couch... Thanks again Keith W!!! You da bomb!

I continued to justify poor food choices right

down to the drive home, which included a stop at one of my favorite local diners, CJ's Sandbar (with free wifi), so I could finalize info and emails from the weekend. That little pit stop also included a mushroom and swiss burger with a side of onion rings and TWO sides of ranch dressing... YUMMMMM!

I'll start fresh tomorrow I told myself... and I did, but the point is I didn't have to fail so hard!!! Ugh, what was my problem? I was like a teenager again, doing stuff just to spite the rules. Well, I fought the law and the law won! The law that clean eating will make you feel better and lose weight. Yeah, that law. Just so you know, and you probably do already know, when you break that law you feel like crap and the scale and your skinny pants say MEAN things to you!!! It's not cool. not fun.

Weeeellllll, that was the start of faileo and then I managed to pull it together for the work week and was successfully strict paleo AND THEN another weekend of travel... Hmmm, I am sensing a pattern here... Here's the thing, it's not the traveling that makes me cheat, it's the cool people.

Eating is a ritual of bonding. It is a WONDERFUL ritual of flavors and conversation. It is a beautiful rite of humanhood.
Maybe it's my Italian blood, but I think it comes with any culture, food is just a great bonding agent. Like glue ;) except it brings PEOPLE together instead of objects. Food is the glue of camaraderie and I LOVE LOVE LOVE FOOD AND PEOPLE.

So here's kind of a problem if I don't want to FAIL, if I don't want to do it WRONG, WHAT AM I GONNA DO??? I guess I have to rewrite the rules in order to succeed. I don't mean change the rules of PALEO. I more mean change the rules for myself. Renegotiate the goals. Originally I wanted to be strict-100%-no-nonsense-cleanse-the-system-of-all-impurities-paleo. AND NOW, my goal is to be 99%+ paleo during the week and perhaps allow myself the pleasure of a nice cabernet on ONE night of the weekend (and not the 5 drinks at beerfest for my sisters birthday like this weekend... but it was her BIRTHDAY)!

Meanwhile I intend to keep tabs on my calories and the the protein, fat, carbs ratio due to the fact that when I cheat I have to pay up in the way of giving up some calories. I KNOW THIS IS NOT HOW THE PALEO COMMUNITY THINKS!!! But, it's the mindset that I possess from years of gymnastics and the threat of weigh-ins... I will work on changing my mindset, but for now, here I am.

I still intend to eat good things and keep a update of the numbers. As far as weighing in today goes... well just like I've been avoiding you, the scale and I haven't exactly made eye contact in the past few days... I will start fresh this Monday morning and hope to be a better inspiration of clean eating as the posts go on.

Fall down seven times, get up eight. RIGHT?!?!?

Japanese Proverb

Just keep getting back up on the horse my friends... you know, if that's the horse you want to be on!

See ya soon! Eat Clean :)